Theory: Accepting the notion that many men have an overblown image of their golfing prowess; The pace at which a man plays golf is inversely proportional to the speed of the vehicle that carries his clubs. In that, when a male golfer uses a push buggy, he generally walks directly to his ball, plays his shot (eventually), and walks directly to where he hit his ball. Generally a little slow but tolerable. When he uses a motorised buggy however he often drives the vehicle with as much care and attention as does a child in a dodgem car.
While this is not true of all male golfers, I have seen situations often enough to recognise a clear pattern. I have often found myself behind groups of such players, and have marveled at the complete lack of forethought at what they are doing and the total absence of consideration for golfers behind them.
Sharing golf carts multiplies the problem, multiple carts, and or multiple groups of men with carts and the situation is compounded exponentially into what I refer to as the ‘Molasses Circus – The greatest slow on Earth’.
Picture this, four men sharing two carts, two men in each cart. It is a slow day on the course, many guys thinking they are Tiger Woods, whilst proving themselves to be Wooden Tigers (humour). The men in cart A have hit their balls the same distance down the fairway though about 15 metres apart. The driver of cart B has sliced his ball into the deep rough halfway along the fairway, his passenger has put his ball on the fairway though about 30 metres shorter than the driver. Cart A has gone up to one of their balls and is waiting for the green (further away than they can hit) to clear. The driver of cart B has driven up to his ball and is also waiting for the green to clear. A modicum of forethought, and perhaps consideration for the flow of play on the course may suggest that; whilst waiting for the green to clear, the players from cart A could both go to their respective balls; and as the driver of cart B has to pass his passengers ball to get to his ball, it may be an idea to let the passenger off en-route to the drivers ball… but no. The green clears, player 1 from cart A hits his ball, puts his club away and climbs back into the cart and they drive the ten or so meters laterally across the fairway to the other player’s ball, meanwhile the driver of cart B has hit his ball, and drives BACK down the fairway for his passenger to play his ball. Situations akin to this occur regularly through the round. A floor show such as this is a galling experience if you find yourself behind such a grouping.
Absence of forethought, no idea of where they need to go, and will not take suggestions… I think male attitudes on the roads may be reflected when they climb behind the wheel on a golf course… only that golf carts don’t do 60 Kmph.
Dare I suggest a breathalyser for the 17th Tee?
Pavlov's Cat 